Anxiety

I haven't had an anxiety attack like this in years. I am mentally killing myself. I am hurting inside so bad right now. I just wish I could stop thinking so much. I try to sleep and I can't get my mind to calm down enough to just rest. Please, just let me rest. Let this pain in my chest and stomach go away. I don't know who I am trying to talk to right now. Someone who is willing to listen I guess. Maybe tomorrow I will start my day off fresh. Start my day with something good. I don't know. I am not ready for all of this change. I am rambling now. FUCK. I just want to stop hurting... please.

And this is one of the biggest steps I will ever take in my life. I am not going to lie, I am scared to death. My heart races just thinking about leaving. I have dealt with the change before, but its so different this time. I will be alone for once in my life. The choices I make now, will forever be with me.